Eternal Bonds

My last post was about eternal marriage and the fact we celebrated 30 years of marriage. September 12 was a day of incredible High, to devastating Low. I made the comment how grateful I was/am for eternal marriage and what that meant. I had no idea that conviction would be tested within hours of posting. That is the day we found out Little One was in trouble and would probably not survive the pregnancy. Three days later I was hugging my baby, Deborah, wishing I could make the bad stuff go away. I could not. The most I could do was let her and Tyler know I was there. I was fortunate that I was able to do a service for the family and at the same time spend wonderful time with my grandson. I was grateful I got to watch my grandson bond with his Grammy (my mom).

Monday we found out Little One had a different mission to fulfill and it did not include a mortal life here on earth.

While I was there in Idaho, Deborah and I had the opportunity to do a lot of talking. I am grateful for their testimony of the Eternal nature of our families. As Deborah said, we cannot imagine what it would be like to go through this without the sure knowledge of eternal bonds. What a tender mercy from the Lord.

Thank you Little One for letting me know in your own special way that you are there and a real person. I love you and look foward to meeting you one day. Thank you for being my Grandchild.

Little One, Granna and Grampy Love you, forever! Mwah!

Grateful for Eternal Marriage

I am taking this day to let you know that I am grateful for eternal marriage. I am grateful that I have more than a "til death do you part" marriage. I am grateful to know that the wonderful man whom I have been married to for 30 years will be by my side for eternity. What a true blessing that is. Especially when I also include the knowledge that because of that temple ordinance, my children are a blessing that will enjoy that bond.

Counseled

Recently Orey and I had the great and wonderful opportunity to be personally counseled by a general authority. He happens to be our friend and lawyer too. We have known him for years and have had nothing but the highest regard and respect for him. Ever since he was our Stake President. It was strange and uplifting to have him personally know our family and to counsel with us. The neat thing is he touched on some things that we were "struggling" with and didn't even know it until he talked about it.

At first I enjoyed what he said and for a minute forgot to put it in its place. I took it as one friend to another and only thought about what he said. Then Orey and I talked and was amazed to realize we were just counseled. Then I knew to apply it to my life! The Lord gave me comfort through the words that were spoken to us that day. As things progress forward in the challenge our family is going through right now, how sweet it is to know I can reflect upon that conversation and know peace.

I think the thing to remember is that even if he did not know our family personally, he would still have counseled us for the same things. The reason is because Heavenly Father personally knows our family and what we are going through. The counsel comes from Him and the man was his messenger to us. How wonderful is that?!!!

Turn off the Television

We got rid of the television a while back. Okay, we didn't get rid of whole tv but we did get rid of the cable/dish we had hooked up. So, essentially, we have a big screen that we occasionally watch movies on and also the kids play Wii on.

At first I thought I would really hate it. Even though we did not watch as much as the average household seemed to, we still did our fair share. Sometimes I would have it on as a filler. However, we turned it off and I have hardly missed it at all. The kids do not ask for it. We cut down on the amount of garbage filtered in to our home. I know the old saying that if you don't like what is on tv then don't watch the show. We tried that but even the commercials seemed to bring random foul words and sexual inuendo into our environment for 30 to 60 seconds at a time. Just long enough for us not to have time to change the channel. I am not a huge prude, but I think my kids get enough of that in their school and outside environment. I know I do working at the prison. It is nice to come home and not have that influence.

The other thing that I REALLY noticed is that I read..and enjoy..my scriptures more. Who knew?! A simple matter of turning off the tv could make such a big difference.

Try it, you might like it :)

I Forgot, and I Faltered

I forgot a fundamental truth that none of us can afford to forget. I forgot that the adversary knows me well. Because I had a lapse in memory, I have allowed him entrance into my life. I have allowed bitterness, unkind thoughts and so forth to take up residence in my being. It was subtle to be sure. Little things here and little things there. I truly became aware of it only minutes ago so you are the first to know my state of being right now. It is not pretty.

I have so very much on my emotional plate right now that I am being attacked by many fronts right now. Sometimes I feel like I am standing in a small pond of muck up to my knees and there are people throwing rocks and sticks and debris and me trying to bring me down. I feel like I have allowed them to get the upper hand.

I sat here a few minutes ago having my little pity party and wondering how Jesus managed to deal with it. The first and foremost thing that came to my head was that he cried out mightily to his Father. I have not cried out mightily to my Father. I have been busy crying out mightily to my frustration and anger. That needs to change. Jesus knew that Heavenly Father was always with him and he could count on him at any time. His faith did not falter.

I remember when I was a young teenager and I went to tell my mom that I loved her. Truly, the only reason I was saying it to her that time is because I really meant it. However, she looked and me and asked me what I wanted. I replied that I did not want anything. She said she did not believe me because the only reason I ever told her lately that I loved her was because I wanted something. I was really hurt by that. But then I realized that I did not have a right to be hurt.....she did. She was right. I was so busy living my life that the only time I took the time to remember that I really did love my mother is when I wanted something. It wasn't that I didn't love her at all times. I just forgot to confess it to her unless there was a reminder such as something I needed.

I believe that I have "forgotten" to express my love for Heavenly Father as I should be doing instead of just when I cry out to him in want. I think once I get back on the right track, I will feel much better and will be able to slog out of the muck and vanquish all my percieved foes.

Thank you to my children for being some of the best friends ever. You have given me more joy in my life than a woman has a right to :) You are my reason and I love you for it. More than you will EVER know!!!!!

Riding the Spankin' train

Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum? Sometimes for half a second you might think to yourself "boy, someone is riding the spankin' train and it is getting ready to come into the station".

Have you ever seen an adult throw a tantrum? Really?! Because I don't think Heavenly Father has. I know I threw a tantrum the other day (yesterday) and thought to myself "really? really you think you need to be doing this? You are acting like a child", then it hit me, I AM a child! I am His child and he loves me even when I throw a tantrum. I am sure I sounded just as petulant about things as my 3 year old does when he goes into a fit. I have to remember that. That doesn't mean it is okay that I pitch a fit, however, it does help to know that He loves me always....even when I am ridin the spankin' train.